Want a divorce? Get the mother of your children a school uniform gift card

Want a divorce? Get the mother of your children a school uniform gift card

Disclaimer: The following post is intended to be humorous and not meant to offend anyone. Take a deep breath...

Mother's Day is this Sunday, 19 March. A time to show your appreciation for the woman who gave birth to your children and probably raised them while you were busy playing video games. But what to get her? Flowers? Chocolates? A heartfelt card? All good choices, but why not think outside the box and get her an Ethical Schoolwear school uniform gift card?

Wait, what? Why on earth would anyone give their spouse a school uniform gift card for Mother's Day? Well, for one, they're ethical. You know, because the uniforms are Planet Mark certified, made from sustainable materials and support fair labour practices. And two, it's practical. You know how much money you spend every year on back-to-school shopping. This way, you can save some money and get a head start on next year's uniforms.

But let's be real. If you give your wife a school uniform gift card for Mother's Day, you might as well sign the divorce papers right then and there. Trust me, she does not want to be reminded of the endless piles of laundry, the forgotten permission slips, and the constant battles over homework. And while you may think you're being helpful, she'll likely interpret it as a slap in the face. "Happy Mother's Day, darling! Here's a gift card for something you hate doing!"

But wait, it gets worse. Imagine the conversation when she opens it. "Oh, how thoughtful! A gift card!" She eagerly rips open the envelope and sees the Ethical Schoolwear logo on a printed out email. "Um, what's this?" You try to explain your reasoning, but she's already fuming. "You think I want to spend my Mother's Day shopping for school uniforms? Do you even know me at all?"

Suddenly, she's recounting every time you've ever let her down, from the time you forgot her birthday to every time you left the toilet seat up. And then she'll bring up that time you got her a blender for Christmas, and you know it's all over.

Do not get your wife an Ethical Schoolwear school uniform gift card for Mother's Day. Instead, stick to the classics. Flowers, chocolates, and a heartfelt card will always do the trick. And if you're feeling really generous and want to avoid buying more 'stuff', treat her to a spa day. Trust me, your marriage will thank you.

Image credit: Sander Sammy

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